Keeping Our Marriages Solid, Strong and SIZZLING

Hello Moms,

We missed each of you at MOPS yesterday, and what a meeting it was!  I hope that whatever the circumstance, obstacle or sickness that was endured will resolve quickly and bring you back to us at our next get together. 

WOW, I’ve never left a meeting so filled with promise, and conviction.  A BIG thank you goes to our lead mentor, Judy Carter and our mighty speaker, Mrs. Debby Brown, whose words spoke to all of our hearts at a time when we all needed comfort and encouragement.

Judy’s Devotional:
We each have our own “valleys” in life that may bring contemplation, sadness and extreme pain.  How does one move forward when we find ourselves in a life “valley?”  

ANSWER:  PSALM 23.  Find comfort in that the Lord is OUR SHEPHERD, and we have nothing to fear because our shepherd will protect us.  All we can do is just “ask.”   This is God’s promise that goodness and love will follow and that with these two things, you can get through anything.  

“How to Put the Sizzle in Your Marriage”
Mrs. Debby immediately won our hearts and “had us at Hello” as she immediately declared her love of Jesus and MOPS!  But first, she wanted us to know where she had come from and why she now stood before us today.   We all could relate to her background… college, marriage, babies, supporting husband’s career, making a home, and being the best mom and community volunteer she could be!  Kids, girlfriends, and community service became her world.   Sound familiar?  YES, she was just like US… but, she did not put the same energy into being a “great wife” and after 17 years, the toll of neglect and taking her husband for granted came to a head.   As the demise of her marriage was looming, Mrs. Debby ran to God for help.  And here is what she learned on her journey to regain her marriage and her husband’s love:

-          We must place the following entities in their rightful PRIORITY in our lives.  This list is in priority order, and God is FIRST, and spouse is SECOND.

                          God
                       Spouse
                       Chilldren
                          Home
                       Work
                       Community

-          Next, estimate how much TIME you devote to each person/entity per day in the aforementioned list, and see where your time and priorities currently lie.  Is your list time top heavy?  If so, you are leading the right life!  Is your list time bottom heavy?  Could you work on shifting your commitments to the top of the list? 

 As Mrs. Debby began the work to recover her marriage, her research and work brought forth some key lessons and “must dos” for all of us who want to keep our marriages solid, strong and SIZZLING.  Second only to our relationship with God, this is our most important relationship and a model for our children! 

 KEYS To the “Sizzle”

Before we lay out the plan, Mrs. Debby was very clear that any resources you may reach out for must be CHRIST based.  There is so much material available to assist us with our relationships (“self help”), but we must only seek out those that are Christ based because it is our relationship with God that defines our lives, and our priorities.  

1.       Communication is key to a successful marriage.  But more importantly, choose the right TIME AND SETTING.  Don’t plan to talk about your troubles when your spouse just steps into the house from work after a long day. PLAN A DATE NIGHT.   Get away from the kids and house.  Talk opening and honestly. 

2.       Don’t compare husbands.  Just concentrate on what God gave you and concentrate on what you LOVE about your spouse.  Don’t take the little things for granted.  Your spouse has been chosen for you.  Embrace the wonderful things that he does or does not do (i.e. lie, cheat).

3.       Look good for your spouse!  It also helps you to feel better about yourself as well.

4.       Don’t do those things that make him mad…you know those little habits that get under his skin, try not to do them.  It’s those little things compounded over time that cause fracture and resentment

5.       Look good in the bedroom…ladies, those oversize t shirts and sweatpants are not appealing.   Try to substitute the bulk comfy dress with something more delicate and enticing.

6.       Be a FUN wife!  Laugh at his silly jokes and pranks. 

7.       Use FUN Hallmark cards to communicate with your spouse.  Put one in his office, or by his bed.  Keep him interested and show him you still are!

8.       Call him during the day if he can accept calls and if you are able.  An unexpected “I’m thinking about you” is a sweet reminder of your connection.

9.       Put him and “his stuff” at the top of the list!  Does he need his dry cleaning picked up?  Then do it FIRST, and don’t wait and put it last on your to do list.  Show him he is the PRIORITY and is important to you!

10.   Initiate physical intimacy!

 

The Recipe for “The Perfect Romantic Evening” with your spouse:

1.       Have kids spend night with grandparent or trusted sitter/family member

2.       Place a note at the entrance of where your husband will come in from work or outside

3.       Line Hersey Kisses to the bathtub

4.       Be in the tub, filled with bubbles.  Candles lit and background music playing.

5.       Have your spouse join you in the tub, and spend 20 minutes LISTENING to him.  Do not talk, but you must LISTEN to him.

6.       The key to this evening is to show him you have listened and want him to be happy with initiating activities he enjoys!  Other suggested activities were recommended by Mrs. Debby and these can be easily deduced by the framework and theme of this type of night!

 In conclusion, Mrs. Debby emphatically pointed out that ONLY Jesus can make you happy, not your husband!  Your husband won’t change, but you can.  Employ these suggested tips for your happiness and your marriage because God wants you to! 

Our next MOPS meeting is Thursday, November 8^th at 10 a.m.  We will hear Meghan Goade present “5 Conversations to have with Your Son/Daughter.”  Another interesting topic for all of us! 

Don’t forget, this Thursday, November 1^st is our Pumpkin Roll Baking Day, 8:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.   Childcare provided, and bring your aprons!

Have a wonderful weekend and hope to see you all on November 1^st! 

Debra Bochow

Discussion Group Coordinator

Attached is the link to this week’s newsletter
http://db.tt/3eNtu1SM

It's Marvin MOPS Week (10/25/12)!

Good Morning Moms,

We are full speed ahead into the Fall, and there are so many wonderful events to enjoy and this especially includes MOPS!  Please join us this Thursday, October 25 ^th at 10 a.m. to hear Debby Brown speak about “How to Keep the Sizzle in Marriage.”  Mrs. Brown has a very close connection to our group;  she is the aunt of our own Shelby West and she is speaking about a topic that is directly impacted by these early years of child rearing and mothering.   We will meet back in our regular meeting Room 246 (second floor, FAITH classroom) and let’s really engage in how we can strengthen and enrich the most important relationship our children observe.

If you will be using childcare, also known as our MOPPETS program, you may bring your children to the childcare rooms which are located on the first floor.  There will be a sign to direct you.  If your children are not coming, and you are signed up for childcare, it is important that you contact Stephanie Lamb, our MOPPETS Coordinator, to let her know:  Steph.lamb@sbcglobal.net, or 903-363-7447.  This affects how many volunteers/workers/rooms we need.

Also, please bring your children in their HALLOWEEN costumes for some trick –or- treating MOPS style! 

Some additional important reminders about our MOPPETS program:

·         Please LABEL ALL of your child’s belongings (sippy cups, pacifiers,etc.) 

·         Please DO NOT bring your child if he/she shows ANY signs of illness.  Please refer to the “Moppets Guidelines” for further instruction

·         Drop off time is 9:50-10:00 a.m. before the meeting.  Please pick up your children promptly by noon to be courteous of the MOPPETS staff

Thursday Meeting Reminders:

1. First Semester Dues are due:  $40 if you are using childcare/ $24 if you are not using childcare.  If you have not paid the $25 MOPS International (once a year) dues, then these are also due.  Checks made payable to “Marvin MOPS.”  Cash is also accepted.  Dues go to Heather Parker, our Financial Coordinator. 
2. Financial assistance is available in the form of scholarships or payment plans.  Please see Heather Parker for additional information.
3. The ORANGE table will bring food
4. Please bring your new and gently used coats in support of our Fall Missions Project in support of St. Paul’s Children’s Foundation

UPCOMING MOPS Events:

-          October 25 (THURSDAY)- 6:30 p.m. - MNO at the home of Kari Smith

-      November 1 (THURSDAY) – 8:30 a.m. -1:30 p.m.- Pumpkin Roll Baking Day (Come and Go)

 If you are UNABLE to attend this Thursday’s MOPS meeting, please notify your Table Leader.  If your children are not coming, and are signed up for childcare, please also notify Stephanie Lamb (MOPPETS Coordinator) at steph.lamb@sbcglobal.net or 903-363-7447.

I hope to see you all on Thursday!  

Have a wonderful and blessed week,

Debra Bochow

Discussion Group Coordinator

Kung Fu Fighting

It was so good to see all of our wonderful moms this past Thursday. We missed those who were absent and pray that all the sickness going around would soon cease! We had a good morning of fellowship in Pirtle Hall followed by an informative and entertaining guest speaker, Dometrius Hill. Dometrius gave us great tips and advice on child safety while demonstrating an easy self defense tactic. Many of you were interested in Dometrius's martial arts academy and the classes he provides so we have included his contact information below. Hope you all had a relaxing weekend and we will meet back on Thursday, October 25th. See you soon!

Dometrius Hill

http://www.atasma.com/

hilldd@atasma.com

 

 

It's Marvin MOPS Week (10/11/12)!

Hello Moms,

The colder temperatures have come not a moment too soon!   Bundle up your kids, babies and most importantly, yourself and join us this Thursday, October 11^th at 10 a.m. in PIRTLE HALL (FIRST FLOOR, across the hall from the nursery), wear comfortable attire as we learn and practice “Self Defense 101” led by Demetrius Hall.

If you will be using childcare, also known as our MOPPETS program, you may bring your children to the childcare rooms which are located on the first floor.  There will be a sign to direct you.  If your children are not coming, and you are signed up for childcare, it is important that you contact Stephanie Lamb, our MOPPETS Coordinator, to let her know:  Steph.lamb@sbcglobal.net, or 903-363-7447.  This affects how many volunteers/workers/rooms we need.

Some additional important reminders about our MOPPETS program:

·         Please LABEL ALL of your child’s belongings (sippy cups, pacifiers,etc.) 

·         Please DO NOT bring your child if he/she shows ANY signs of illness.  Please refer to the “Moppets Guidelines” for further instruction

·         Drop off time is 9:50-10:00 a.m. before the meeting.  Please pick up your children promptly by noon to be courteous of the MOPPETS staff

Thursday Meeting Reminders:

1. First Semester Dues are due:  $40 if you are using childcare/ $24 if you are not using childcare.  If you have not paid the $25 MOPS International (once a year) dues, then these are also due.  Checks made payable to “Marvin MOPS.”  Cash is also accepted.  Dues go to Heather Parker, our Financial Coordinator. 
2. Financial assistance is available in the form of scholarships or payment plans.  Please see Heather Parker for additional information.
3. The RED table will bring food
4. Table Leaders:  Start coordinating your Table Night Out before our calendars fill up with school and holiday plans! 

UPCOMING MOPS Events:

-          October 16 (TUESDAY)- Playdate (location and time TBD)

-          October 25 (THURSDAY)- 6:30 p.m. - MNO at the home of Kari Smith

If you are UNABLE to attend this Thursday’s MOPS meeting, please notify your Table Leader.  If your children are not coming, and are signed up for childcare, please also notify Stephanie Lamb (MOPPETS Coordinator) at steph.lamb@sbcglobal.net or 903-363-7447.

I hope to see you all on Thursday!  

Have a wonderful and blessed week,

Debra Bochow

Discussion Group Coordinator