Hello Moms,
We missed each of you at MOPS yesterday, and what a meeting
it was! I hope that whatever the circumstance, obstacle or sickness that
was endured will resolve quickly and bring you back to us at our next get
together.
WOW, I’ve never left a meeting so filled with promise, and
conviction. A BIG thank you goes to our lead mentor, Judy Carter and our
mighty speaker, Mrs. Debby Brown, whose words spoke to all of our hearts at a
time when we all needed comfort and encouragement.
Judy’s Devotional:
We each have our own “valleys” in life that may bring
contemplation, sadness and extreme pain. How does one move forward when
we find ourselves in a life “valley?”
ANSWER: PSALM 23. Find comfort in that the Lord
is OUR SHEPHERD, and we have nothing to fear because our shepherd will protect
us. All we can do is just “ask.” This is God’s promise that
goodness and love will follow and that with these two things, you can get
through anything.
“How to Put the Sizzle in Your Marriage”
Mrs. Debby immediately won our hearts and “had us at Hello”
as she immediately declared her love of Jesus and MOPS! But first, she
wanted us to know where she had come from and why she now stood before us
today. We all could relate to her background… college, marriage,
babies, supporting husband’s career, making a home, and being the best mom and
community volunteer she could be! Kids, girlfriends, and community
service became her world. Sound familiar? YES, she was just
like US… but, she did not put the same energy into being a “great wife” and
after 17 years, the toll of neglect and taking her husband for granted came to
a head. As the demise of her marriage was looming, Mrs. Debby ran
to God for help. And here is what she learned on her journey to regain
her marriage and her husband’s love:
-
We must place the following entities in their
rightful PRIORITY in our lives. This list is in priority order, and God
is FIRST, and spouse is SECOND.
God
Spouse
Chilldren
Home
Work
Community
-
Next, estimate how much TIME you devote to each
person/entity per day in the aforementioned list, and see where your time and
priorities currently lie. Is your list time top heavy? If so, you
are leading the right life! Is your list time bottom heavy? Could
you work on shifting your commitments to the top of the list?
As Mrs. Debby began the work to recover her marriage, her
research and work brought forth some key lessons and “must dos” for all of us
who want to keep our marriages solid, strong and SIZZLING. Second only to
our relationship with God, this is our most important relationship and a model
for our children!
KEYS To the “Sizzle”
Before we lay out the plan, Mrs. Debby was very clear that
any resources you may reach out for must be CHRIST based. There is so
much material available to assist us with our relationships (“self help”), but
we must only seek out those that are Christ based because it is our
relationship with God that defines our lives, and our priorities.
1. Communication
is key to a successful marriage. But more importantly, choose the right
TIME AND SETTING. Don’t plan to talk about your troubles when your spouse
just steps into the house from work after a long day. PLAN A DATE
NIGHT. Get away from the kids and house. Talk opening and
honestly.
2. Don’t
compare husbands. Just concentrate on what God gave you and concentrate
on what you LOVE about your spouse. Don’t take the little things for
granted. Your spouse has been chosen for you. Embrace the wonderful
things that he does or does not do (i.e. lie, cheat).
3. Look
good for your spouse! It also helps you to feel better about yourself as
well.
4. Don’t
do those things that make him mad…you know those little habits that get under
his skin, try not to do them. It’s those little things compounded over
time that cause fracture and resentment
5. Look
good in the bedroom…ladies, those oversize t shirts and sweatpants are not
appealing. Try to substitute the bulk comfy dress with something
more delicate and enticing.
6. Be
a FUN wife! Laugh at his silly jokes and pranks.
7. Use
FUN Hallmark cards to communicate with your spouse. Put one in his
office, or by his bed. Keep him interested and show him you still are!
8. Call
him during the day if he can accept calls and if you are able. An
unexpected “I’m thinking about you” is a sweet reminder of your connection.
9. Put
him and “his stuff” at the top of the list! Does he need his dry cleaning
picked up? Then do it FIRST, and don’t wait and put it last on your to do
list. Show him he is the PRIORITY and is important to you!
10. Initiate
physical intimacy!
The Recipe for “The Perfect Romantic Evening” with your
spouse:
1. Have
kids spend night with grandparent or trusted sitter/family member
2. Place
a note at the entrance of where your husband will come in from work or outside
3. Line
Hersey Kisses to the bathtub
4. Be
in the tub, filled with bubbles. Candles lit and background music
playing.
5. Have
your spouse join you in the tub, and spend 20 minutes LISTENING to him.
Do not talk, but you must LISTEN to him.
6. The
key to this evening is to show him you have listened and want him to be happy
with initiating activities he enjoys! Other suggested activities were
recommended by Mrs. Debby and these can be easily deduced by the framework and
theme of this type of night!
In conclusion, Mrs. Debby emphatically pointed out
that ONLY Jesus can make you happy, not your husband! Your husband won’t
change, but you can. Employ these suggested tips for your happiness and
your marriage because God wants you to!
Our next MOPS meeting is Thursday, November 8th
at 10 a.m. We will hear Meghan Goade present “5 Conversations to have
with Your Son/Daughter.” Another interesting topic for all of us!
Don’t forget, this Thursday, November 1st is our
Pumpkin Roll Baking Day, 8:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Childcare provided,
and bring your aprons!
Have a wonderful weekend and hope to see you all on November
1st!
Debra Bochow
Discussion Group Coordinator
Attached is the link to this week’s newsletter
http://db.tt/3eNtu1SM
