Dear Moms,
We hope this finds you all well and ready to tackle your
busy week! We missed each of you at last week’s MOPS meeting, and hope
that you will all come to our next meeting on Thursday, February 21st.
Judy’s Devotional centered on Hebrews 11:5-6
By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that did not
experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him
away. For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased
God. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who
comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who
earnestly seek him.
Who are YOU pleasing?
-
We, as women, have so many people in our lives
to please: husbands, friends, children, and ourselves.
-
We, as mothers, have to be deliberate and
thoughtful for what is RIGHT
-
The world tells us contradictory messages;
that all we need is more money, clothes, and prestige. All we really need
to believe if we are pleasing the world, then we are DISPLEASING
ourselves. This will only bring us MUCH UNHAPPINESS.
John 8:29
(Jesus speaking)
“The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me
alone, for I always do what pleases him.”
-
Jesus is ALWAYS with us; even when we are
being ugly, gossiping or coveting. LOOK to please our savior, STRIVE to
please God.
-
If you do not know what a Christian life looks
like, look to our mentors (God fearing women), or other godly people…OR
-
Maybe at one point in your life you knew what a
Christian life looked like (youth group participation), lets go BACK TO
IT. Get back to you knowing who you are here to please
Matthew 11:28-30
(Jesus speaking)
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I
will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am
gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my
yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
-
GET BACK into fellowship with HIM.
-
If you are “weary and burdened,” go to Jesus and
find REST for your souls.
Psalms 37:4
Delight yourself in the Lord
And he will give you the desires of
Your heart.
-
Love is FIRST
-
Don’t chase the desires of the world, delight
yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires in your heart!
Millie Tanner, LPC, made a return appearance to our MOPS
group to talk about the “Conversations to have with Our Preschoolers.”
Before, we understand how to communicate with our little
ones (ages 3-6), Ms. Tanner explained how our preschoolers look and think about
the world around them. They are in what Piaget describes as the
PREOPERATIONAL STAGE:
-
They LOVE looking and exploring
-
Are concrete thinkers; the HERE AND NOW,
what they can see, touch or smell
-
Egocentric- they don’t understand what you
experience is what they experience
-
Love make believe and pretend
I.
The Investment
a.
Teaching our children now how to have more
complicated or mature conversations in the future is like building up a bank
account. You may find yourself having to withdraw from it later on, as
you now are depositing for the future.
b.
We want to communicate using the 5 A’s
(affection, attention, acceptance, appreciation and approval)
c.
We communicate using verbal and nonverbal
language
i.
Reactions are important! Body language is
just as important as words
ii.
Communicating through avoidance indicates we are
talking about something scary, or to be fearful
d.
We communicate to help with relationships later
in life (if they themselves know how to communicate… especially with boys,
helping them to talk)
II.
The Interaction
a.
Think concretely- ask your child for
clarification to their question. Give them a clear 30 second
answer! This is what they can understand and handle
b.
Know your child- parents know their kids;
what they can handle, what is age appropriate.
c.
Be approachable- DON’T DODGE questions, it’s OK
to say “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.”
i.
Talk with your child (not at)
ii.
Listen attentively (turn off your phone, TV,
computer)
iii.
Validate your child’s feelings “I know you are
sad.”
iv.
Speak over your children…speak truth, pray over
them
d.
YOU want to be the one your kids approach..”THE
POWER OF THE FIRST IMPRESSION” is to give them the RIGHT information
FIRST. Don’t let your children’s friends/peers give them information
before you.
III.
The ISSUES
i.
Never present an issue to a child without
framing it in a value (biblical).
ii.
Don’t’ make topics taboo
IV.
DEATH
a.
Processing Grief
i.
Children process grief differently
ii.
They do it in bite size chunks; i.e. they
are fine one moment, and in the next they are clingly, having bathroom
accidents. It can look like ”bad behavior.”
b.
Magical Thinking
i.
Children often see death as temporary and
reversible
ii.
BE HONEST and tell them death is FINAL;
they will NOT LIVE AGAIN as preschoolers do not understand time.
c.
Personalizing Death
i.
Sometimes children think they are going to
die. Tell them they will not die when they go to slee.
ii.
Be honest and real. Keep answers brief and
simple. Death means you do NOT sleep, you DO NOT eat, etc. SPELL IT
OUT. Remember, they are concrete thinkers.
d.
Keeping it real- honesty
i.
Explaining tragedies in the world—keep it
simple, open with the facts. If YOU CAN SHIELD THEM, DO IT.
1.
As your children go to school, they will often
hear about news, so you should have a conversation about it.
2.
If your child is between the ages of 2-4, you
want them to be reassured they are safe, but older kids need more
information…there is not always a happy Disney ending to life’s events (i.e.
death of a sick family pet).
V.
SEX
a.
Our generation is changing how we talk to our
children about sex
b.
You want your kids to think you are the EXPERT
c.
A ONE TIME TALK IS NOT ENOUGH
d.
How do I begin?
i.
Know your child before you initiate a
“conversation”
ii.
Bath time is generally a good time to start
talking about their “private parts.” As they get older, you can use proper
anatomical names in place of the generic “private parts.”
e.
What do I say?
i.
“Where do babies come from?”—YOUR reaction is
IMPORTANT!!! Give simple information; i.e. when mommy and daddy
love each other, God put’s a baby in mommy’s tummy.
ii.
GET EDUCATED FIRST before you have a
conversation. The Chicken’s Guide to talking Turkey with your Kids
is a great book and resource for this very topic!
iii.
Research indicates, the more information you
give kids the less likely they are to experiment sexually.
f.
How do I keep my child safe?
i.
Teach them proper versus improper
touching; i.e. touching “private parts” is appropriate during bath
by mom or dad, but not at any other time by anyone else!
It is never too early to start TALKING to your child or
infant! Be the person your child comes to FIRST with any questions they
may have; enable “The Power of the First Impression” with your children.
Keep it simple and short. Understand what they understand now, at
this stage in their life. Remember, you will draw from the bank account
you open up later on down the road, so make those deposits count, and keep your
conversations flowing!
Have a blessed week, and see you all at our next MOPS
meeting!
Debra Bochow
Discussion Group Coordinator
